Photo by Joshua Earle on Unsplash

The 2-Step Process To Having Everything You Dream Of

“We shape our buildings; thereafter they shape us.” — Winston Churchill

We shape; then we’re shaped.

Through this premise:

You can achieve everything you have ever dreamed of.

You can have everything you want and desire.

You can become everything — and be anyone.

… As long as you are mindful of this 2-step process:

  1. Decide what you want to shape.
  2. Identify, and interact with an environment that allows you to be shaped in that particular way.

Will you choose to build the life you desire?

Will you take control?

Before diving deeper into the concept, you should know these two fundamental concepts:

  • The environment and the situations you encounter, influences a lot of your behavior — and most of it happens outside your conscious awareness.
  • Before you enter a given situation, you have a choice of whether to interact with that situation or not.

When you understand this, you can start to utilize the two-step process.

Taking Control Of Life

“The real answer to understanding most life outcomes can be found in the interaction between personal characteristics and life situations: exceptional things happen when chance situations meet the prepared person.” — Larsen, Buss & Wismeijer

The interaction between who you are, and the situations you encounter, produces the outcomes you get in life.

Being prepared means that you decide what you want to shape (who you’re going to be).

If you’re able to identify the right situations, you eliminate the chance aspect of it (you only encounter the situations you want to encounter).

This way, following the two steps makes you in control.

You no longer let random forces shape your life.

You decide how you want it to be, and then you live that way.

1. Deciding What To Shape

“It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.” — Tony Robbins

The first step is to decide what you want to shape. This can be in the form of skills, personal characteristics, or just a general shift in personality.

It can be anything you want.

What matters is; you have to be clear on what you want.


Imagine how the future will play out.

Develop a vision of who you would like to be.

Decide what environment to engage with, what people to interact with, and ultimately, decide your path in life.

Here’s how to get better at making decisions:

1) Consider your options.

  • Who do you want to be?
  • What are the consequences of making a choice?
  • What outcome do you want?

2) Make a decision.

  • Make the decision outside your routine environment. This will free up some of the constraints you experience.
  • Create your own reasons when in doubt. When you can’t figure out which option to decide on, imagine yourself living out each option (pick the one you see as the door to the life you want).
  • Go with your gut feeling. Emotions and intuitions are fast and reliable information when you’re in doubt. Use them when you can’t get anywhere with your ‘higher cognitive mechanisms’.
  • Just pick one and go. You can always adjust afterwards. The thing you decide on isn’t set in stone (you can change your mind later, if you realize that the thing you chose, wasn’t the right fit after all).

3) Invest in the decision.

  • This can be in the form of money, accountability, integrity, etc.

2. Identifying And Interacting With The Right Environment

“We, as people, are shaped by what is outside of us. We like to believe we are the masters of our fate. But our situation and environment are far more powerful.” — Benjamin P. Hardy

When you’ve decided on what to shape, the next step is to identify the right environment — and subsequently interact with it.

Identify an already established environment, and create the situations you need.

You have to be intentional.

Some questions to think about when choosing an environment:

  • Where is it?
  • What does it look like?
  • What are the potential forces that will shape me?
  • Who are the people inhabiting it? Are they experts?
  • Will they be helpful and provide feedback?
  • Can I actually grow with this environment?
  • … Do I want to interact with it?

An aspiring basketball player enrolls in a team.

An entrepreneur finds like-minded people at seminars.

A musician jams with other people

A “whatever you want to be” interacts with “the environment that will help you become that way”

Tying It Together

  • Getting clear on what you want, and deciding to get it, is the first step to anything.
  • Interacting with an environment, or creating the right situations, will actually get you there.

The main tenets are simple.

Let me exemplify:

When I developed an interest for psychology, I knew that I wanted to become an expert in the field.

That was my decision.

Choosing to study it at the university was my choice of environment. Here, I had several classmates, highly skilled professors, lectures, and textbooks that all enforced my understanding of psychology.

I may not be an ‘expert’ yet, but the interactions that I have sure facilitates my movement towards the decision I made. I literally leap towards the dream I set out to achieve.

Now it’s your turn.

  1. Decide what you want to shape.
  2. Then interact with the right environment.

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