Here’s how to change this year
5 heavyweight principles to reach your goals and change your life
With the New Year, comes New Year resolutions. Changes. Improvements. Things that if were followed through on, would make life better. There’s nothing wrong with New Year resolutions. The problem is that most of them are empty. Wishes. Dream-like constitutions.
The reason for failure is simple; change is hard. Especially if you’re making big lifestyle changes, like eating healthy, quitting smoking, working out more often, or spending less money.
The question burning on everyone’s tongue is; how do you make the change happen?
“The new year stands before us, like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written. We can help write that story by setting goals.” — Melody Beattie
To have a practical example at hand, and to illustrate the principles more clearly, imagine an obese woman who wants to lose weight by working out and eating more healthy. She will be our guide throughout this article. Let’s call her Nancy.
The mindset
It all starts with how you think. Your mindset. Your attitude towards changing. Once you get yourself into the proper mindset, the floodgates of change should open.
- Believe that you can achieve anything you set your mind to.
- Know that smart and hard work will get you where you want to be.
- Long-term change doesn’t happen right away. Accept that you might try and fail multiple times before you hit a home-run. Setbacks are normal, but as long as you keep going at it, with the following principles in mind, you’ll be fine.
Mindset for losing weight: “I know as long as I try my very best, I will lose some weight. It might be difficult in the beginning, but once I get the hang of it, it will become easier. I will not make myself feel bad whenever I skip a workout, or decides to eat fast-food. I will try my best to avoid setbacks, but I know that it isn’t always easy. Consistency is key!” — Nancy
Clarity
Setting a clear and precise goal, will make it more likely for you to stick to it, as it should produce motivation to change.
When you write down your goal (preferably on a piece of paper), it should leave no room for misunderstanding. Setting a clear goal, forces you to become aware of whether you achieve it or not. Include a description of the task, how to measure results, and a deadline for achievement.
Good example: Lose 20 pounds by the end of the year.
Bad example: Lose weight.
Rewards and avoidance of pain
In addition to change being hard, it can also frightening. This makes it even harder, and far easier to stay right where you are. In your comfort zone.
Why would you want to change if the current situation is comfortable?
Even the fact that you decided to read this article, suggests that some part of you would like to change. Examining the consequences of both your current situation and the desired outcome, can make it easier for you to make up your mind.
- Highlight the positive aspects and rewards of the desired outcome, as well as the negative consequences for choosing to stay in the current situation. This way, you will both have something to gravitate towards and something to avoid.
When you do this, you make it clear why you would like to achieve your goal. The more emotionally strong your reasons are, the more likely are you to reach your goals. Having goals that exceeds oneself is also of importance. Think about what reaching your goals will mean for others, and how it will affect them.
“Man is capable of changing the world for the better if possible, and of changing himself for the better if necessary.” — Viktor E. Frankl
Change requires a lot of energy. Vast amounts of cognitive effort goes into change, you can’t escape the emotional pain that comes along with it, and your behaviors need to be recalibrated. Because of this, you won’t change unless you really have to. You only change if it’s necessary.
Because change in itself is painful, it creates a threshold. On one side, the pain you’re already confronted with, or the one you’re trying to avoid. On the other, the pain of changing.
The solution to change now becomes clear; only when the pain you’re objected to or trying to avoid, is more severe than the pain that comes with change, will you make the change happen.
The human organism flees from pain. We avoid it. Thus, we choose the less painful option. Or, the most rewarding one if you will.
Fat loss example:
- Positives: “By losing 20 pounds, I will look better, feel better, and be more confident. I will have to work out and eat healthy, which will give me more energy, and put me in a better mood. This will likely have some positive effects on those around me. Reaching this goal will make me satisfied.” — Nancy
- Negatives: “Choosing to stay in my current situation, will have negative consequences for my life. I will continue to eat poorly, and sit still most of the time, which is bad for my health. I might develop weight related diseases, and maybe even get a heart attack. My current behavior influences my kids, and I would not like for them to end up as me.” — Nancy
Develop plans and strategies
When you have a goal, you have to implement steps to actually achieve it.
- Create sub goals. If you have a large and complex goal in mind, breaking it down into smaller goals can be a good idea. This is to keep you motivated, reduce feelings of overwhelm, and to build confidence as you accomplish the smaller goals.
- Make a schedule. Use a calendar, and set routines that will map your behavior to your desired goal.
Fat loss example:
- Exercise three times per week, 30 minutes per session.
- Figure out what I will need to eat, in order to stick to a nutrition plan.
Support, feedback and accountability
Getting support from others can be helpful in staying on track and gain perspective of your process. Having others support you and give you feedback on the progress you’re making, will keep you motivated to stay on track.
Having shared the goals and the desired outcome with others, will create accountability. Preferably, what you should do is to get someone — an accountability partner — to take part in your routines. Having people around, that engage in the behaviors you would like to adapt, can have a huge impact on you. The environment around you influences you, and this includes people.
Fat loss example: have someone work out with you, and follow the same nutrition plan. Check in on each other, and give each other support and feedback along the way. This is also why hiring a personal trainer can be effective.
Good luck, have a fantastic year!
